The Worst-Dressed Women Warriors in Fantasy

Executive summary about The Worst-Dressed Women Warriors in Fantasy by Mary Robinette Kowal

Today we are going to talk about the wildly inappropriate clothing that female fighters wear in fantasy movies.
1. Red Sonja, Red Sonja (1985)
The titular character (Brigitte Nielsen) here is a strong willed young woman endowed with supernatural strength, skill with a sword... and judging by her costume, other attributes as well.

2. Zulu, Conan the Destroyer (1984)
Zulu (Grace Jones) at least has a sensible hair cut. The rest of it is... basketwoven leather?

3. Guinevere, King Arthur (2004)
She saw the The Fifth Element and thought that the fantasy version of the Ace Bandage Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) wears would be leather straps. I have news for you: If that group of women were actually facing male warriors dressed only in mud and straps of leather, they'd get slaughtered.

4. The White Witch, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (2005)
The White Witch's (Tilda Swinton) costume is both savage and graceful, and yet completely daft for combat -- a recurring theme, you'll notice, because wearing sensible clothing looks too masculine and clearly a woman's primary onscreen value is sexiness. The Witch has bare arms and is prone to striking poses instead of actually fighting. As if that weren't enough, she's wearing a chainmail skirt.

5. Elektra, Elektra (2005)
Three words: Red Silk Teddy.

Granted, fantasy doesn't have a total lock-down on the stupid clothes for women warriors. Check out the worst that scifi has to offer:
1. Barbarella (1968) - Four words: Undressing in zero gravity.
2. Blade Runner (1982) - Pris's (Darryl Hannah) garb consists of netting, a dog collar and mime makeup.
3. Sin City (2005) - Will someone please tell Gail (Rosario Dawson) that a thong will not be her friend during a shootout?
4. Watchmen (2009) - How tall are Jupiter's (Malin Ackerman) heels?
5. Transporter 2 (2005) - There's a reason garters went out of style, Lola (Kate Nauta). It's because they aren't practical.